…speaking the truth in love, may (we) grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: (Eph. 4: 13-15).

My years of working with individuals who daily face tremendous sexual temptations have taught me that there is no special formula that works for everyone.  This life is an individual journey and each person, under heavenly direction, must find the resources that will best aid them in confronting their earthly trials.  However, there are certain common factors necessary in creating an environment where growth can take place. They are:

Knowing Our True Identity

When we are weighed down by mortal challenges and temptations the knowledge that we are children of God, spiritually begotten in the premortal life, can provide strength, comfort, and hope.  This hope comes from a true understanding that as His children we already have a special relationship with Him and with His son, our brother, Jesus Christ.  We can go to them in prayer at any time with the assurance that they care deeply and the anticipation that we will not be asked to carry a burden too difficult for us to endure.   (See 1 Cor. 10:13.)

To obtain eternal life means to become like Heavenly Father, to live like Him, and to receive a fullness of joy. You can receive eternal life if you abide by the same laws as God and do the  things He does. (God Loveth His Children,  p.2; 2007, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.)

I suggest you look at yourself in the mirror and repeat this affirmation every day.

I am His child, no earthly challenge can destroy my eternal possibilities, and His promises are sure if I will do my part by

remaining faithful.

Without question, knowing, believing and acting on this promise is the most important protection and strength anyone can possess.

Cultivating Healthy Relationships

Finding the time to strengthen ourselves by serving others and the careful selection of friends and mentors who are leading righteous lives of virtue will bring light and love into a difficult day. When we spend time with others who share our beliefs and are committed to the same covenants we have made there is less room to accommodate the presence of the adversary or his temptations.  As God has commanded,

Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30-31.)

We were created to be relational beings by a God who seeks a close and intimate relationship with us and he knows we are strengthened by virtuous relationships with others. As it is written in Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend”, and so we will be sharpened or dulled by the relationships we cultivate.

Having Realistic Expectations

When we are experiencing a particularly difficult challenge it is easy to seek a quick fix and become impatient with the growth process. Learning to say “no” to our flesh and “yes” to the Spirit is a lifelong course. When our behaviors have developed an addictive pattern or our thoughts have become somewhat obsessive, the journey to freedom can seem long and hard. This is when having realistic expectations is critical. Changing and repenting takes time.

We were not intended to struggle alone and the sacrifices we make to obey the commandments ultimately lead to sanctification.  As the Apostle Paul taught:

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. (2 Cor 12:7.)

The fruit of these unwanted trials in the life of Paul, and in our own lives, is the blessing we gain when we come to understanding that we are completely dependant on God and that the atonement of the Savior is more than sufficient for our needs.

Gospel Principle

We become stronger by remembering and doing the simple things. We need to know who we are and to whom we belong, we must involve ourselves with the best activities and individuals available, and we have to remain patient and realistic to permit the growth process to work the slow miracles Heavenly Father has promised.

Sincerely,

Dave Pruden

Additional Information

Ardeth Kapp talking about your true identity.

Relationships, Evergreen International by Jason Park.

Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Little Things Count,” New Era, May 1988.

David is the director of Evergreen International. He directs the day-to-day operations of the organization, supervises the staff and volunteers, and manages the budgets.

He is also involved in fundraising and interacting with the public.

Evergreen International is the most complete resource for Latter-day Saints on same-sex attraction.

My first clinical experience:

It was somewhere around the late ’70s when I first met Bill. Since his LDS Mission he had been “acting out” his homosexual thoughts and caught  AIDS.  He was the first AIDS case in our community mental health agency.  I recall it being a warm summer day and opening my office window as I listened to his story.  I assisted him with the admission paperwork. Knowing that AIDS was deadly and unsure how it was transmitted, after Bill left I got a Kleenex, picked up the pen he signed his paperwork with and threw it in the garbage can.

Page 44 from my DSM II is depicted in the adjacent figure. It reads:

“This category is for individuals whose sexual interests are directed primarily toward objects other than people of the opposite sex…”

The text  lists: “Homosexuality” first, followed by sexual deviations like “Pedophilia,” “Fetishism,” and “Transvestitism.”

Using DSM II Bill qualified for the mental disorder diagnosis of Sexual Deviation-Homosexuality (302.0) allowing us as mental health providers to bill insurance and perform what is now called “reparative therapy”. (Reparative Therapy is a term used to describe treatment attempts to change a person from a homosexual or bisexual orientation to a “normal” or heterosexual orientation.)

In the Beginning:

“Homosexuality was made a capital crime in the Bible.” (LDS General Conference  1969,  April,  Saturday Morning,  Mark E. Petersen.)  God Said: “If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them“ (Lev. 20: 13).

DSM

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is published by the American Psychiatric Association and provides a common language and standard criteria for the classification of mental disorders.

Psychologists and Psychiatrists Said:

1980- The Diagnosis of Homosexuality was a “Mental Disorder” Only If It Causes “Distress”

Because of pressure in 1973, the American Psychiatric Association voted to remove “homosexuality” from DSM. Subsequently, a new diagnosis, “ego-dystonic homosexuality,” was created for the DSM III. This meant someone would have to experience “distress” about their sexual orientation before it could be classified as a “Mental Disorder.”

1986-The diagnosis of “Homosexuality” Removed

In 1986, the diagnosis was removed entirely from the DSM-III-R. The only remnant of “ego-dystonic homosexuality” occurred under “Sexual Disorders Not Otherwise Specified,” which included persistent and marked distress about one’s sexual orientation.

2009-APA To the World

Last year  “American Psychological Association (APA)” reiterated that homosexuality is not a mental disorder and warned mental health professionals against trying to help those wishing to change:

August 5, 2009. The American Psychological Association (APA) adopted a resolution Wednesday urging mental health professionals to avoid telling clients that they can change their sexual orientation through therapy or other treatments…. The approval was made at the APA’s annual convention with a 125-4 vote. (APA.)

My Most Recent Clinical Experience

Over 30 years later I met Sarah, a 19-year old female wanting to go on an LDS Mission.  She had same-gender thoughts and acted out sexually with a girlfriend back home.  I sat in my temperature controlled office as I listened to her story.  I completed no admission paper and could bill no insurance for her “homosexual” orientation. Because I was licensed psychologist I chose to meet with her just as friends –  friends meeting regularly to help her change from a homosexual orientation to a “normal” orientation.

Last Sunday she was excited to report she experienced some attraction to a young man at her single’s ward.

How things have changed!
Or have they?

Gospel Principle:

“The fact that some governments and some churches and numerous corrupted individuals have tried to reduce such [homosexual] behavior from criminal offense to personal privilege does not change the nature nor the seriousness of the practice. Good men, wise men, God-fearing men everywhere still denounce the practice as being unworthy of sons and daughters of God; and Christ’s church denounces it and condemns it so long as men and women have bodies which can be defiled.” (Spencer W. Kimball, “President Kimball Speaks Out on Morality,” Ensign, Nov 1980.)  Isaiah warns, “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil” (Isaiah 5:20).

Additional Information

Evergreen International is the most complete resource for Latter-day Saints on same-sex attraction.

NARTH (National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality) upholds the rights of individuals with unwanted homosexual attraction to receive effective psychological care, and the right of professionals to offer that care.