Socially Self-Reliant

25% of Americans have no one to confide in
“Americans have a third fewer close friends and confidants than just two decades ago — a sign that people may be living lonelier, more isolated lives than in the past…” (USA TODAY)

Human Need to be Social
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is a theory in psychology.  This theory is often depicted as a pyramid consisting of five levels.  After the physiological and safety needs are fulfilled, there is the third layer of human needs “social”.  The social need of Maslow’s hierarchy involves relationships like friendship, intimacy, and family.

Most psychologists believe humans need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance, whether it comes from family, church, clubs, work, friends, or some other type of group.  In part the rush for individuals to “belong” on the Internet social networking sites is believed to be one attempt to fulfill this innate social need.

Gospel Teaches Importance
The Church encourages us to become self-reliant in these six areas: education and literacy; physical health; employment; home storage; resource management; and spiritual, emotional, and social strength.  Social strength is defined as: “Members become socially self-reliant as they develop good relationships with family members and with others (see Matthew 7:1–2, 12; Luke 10:27; D&C 64:9–10).” (Church Handbook of Instructions, Book 2, 258).  At first glance “become socially self-reliant” appears to be a phrase with contradictory meanings.  But it is not.  Part of becoming self-reliant means an individual has the skills to maintain healthy relationships.

“One Another“s
Relationships were created by God. From the very beginning God said “It is not good that the man should be alone.” (Genesis 2:18)  Review the number of commandments given in the scriptures related to our behavior towards “one another”: Teach one another (D&C 88: 77); Minister one to another (3 Ne. 26: 19); Bear one another’s burdens (Mosiah 18: 8); Edify another (Rom. 14: 19); Serve one another (Gal 5:13); Fellowship one with another, and Rejoice one with another (Hel 6:3); and of course the commandment Love one another (John 13: 34-35). The highest attribute of Godliness cannot be obtained as a single person. In the absence of healthy relationships, most will experience loneliness.

Resources
Recognizing the importance of relationships the Church has created and now sponsors new courses developed by LDS Family Services including: “Strengthening the Family: Resource Guide for Parents” and “Strengthening Marriage: A Resource Guide for Couples.” An individual can sign up for these courses at their local LDS Family Service agency.

Friendships
One aspect of an individual’s social strength includes having a “friend.” The Prophet Joseph Smith taught that “friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism.’”  (Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, sel. Joseph Fielding Smith [1976], 316) President Gordon B. Hinckley shared with us the three fundamental needs of every new member of the Church.  The first need: “a friend.” (“Some Thoughts on Temples, Retention of Converts, and Missionary Service,” Ensign, Nov 1997)

Contents of “24 Hour Social Preparedness Kit”
In preparation for the trials and tribulations of these “last days” in addition to food storage, staying out of debt we also need a “24 hour social preparedness kit”.  This emergency kit would contain such items as:  A prayerful relationship with God; A supportive relationship with spouse and family; And at least one relationship with a trusted friend.  Like any other area of welfare “Social Strength” takes time and energy to develop.

So What’s The Problem?
I’m worried that my granddaughter will have 300 hundred friends on her Facebook profile but have no clue as to how to carry on a face-to-face conversation on her first date.  I’m concerned my grandson will have spent hundreds of hours on his mission to successfully stop the “Prophet of Truth” from activating “The Ark” on the Internet game Halo 3 but be sent home early from his LDS mission because he has no skills to get along with his companion.

And what about me? Well, I’m aware I have my own relationship responsibilities. President Brigham Young explained “our families are not yet ours. The Lord has committed them to us to see how we will treat them. Only if we are faithful will they be given to us forever.  What we do on earth determines whether or not we will be worthy to become heavenly parents.”  (Gospel Principles [manual, 1997], 231.)  So, I’ve got to work on building my own “social” strength!

GOSPEL PRINCIPLE: One of the highest attributes of Godliness is developed through good relationships with another. Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.

dr rick

Additional Information:

What Matters Most. YouTube Mormon Messages video. President Thomas S. Monson counsels us to spend time with, cherish, and express love to the people we hold dear. Read the entire talk here: “Finding Joy in the Journey,” Liahona, Nov 2008.

Jeffrey R. Holland, “Real Friendship,” New Era, Jun 1998

Social and Emotional Needs. LDS Family Services “Help for Church Leaders.”