Responding to Child Sexual Abuse

“Hi Sally, I’m Dr. Rick.”
No response.

I invited her in.
She lowered her head and stood silently.

The video camera was rolling. The microphone in the nearby potted plant was on.  Sally’s parents waited anxiously outside in the waiting room.

Authorities were collecting evidence from 3 ½ year old Sally. Allegedly she was sexually abused by her 16-year-old cousin.  (Most children are abused by family members or close friends  and very rarely by a stranger.)  Sally’s initial interview was unsuccessful – She wouldn’t talk.  As an expert interviewer, it was now my turn to try and collect “evidence”.

What To Do Next

When you suspect sexual abuse you have two responsibilities: Helping the child and Reporting to legal authorities.

Reporting To Legal Authorities

When child sexual abuse is suspected most states require you to tell authorities like a policeman or a child protective service worker.  Determining guilt or innocence of an alleged perpetrator is the responsibility of the legal system, not yours.

Those reporting alleged abuse in good faith are immune from prosecution. The state agency receiving the report will conduct an investigation and can take action to protect a child.

Prosecuting a sexual criminal case can take weeks and can be complicated. If you have any questions about what you should or shouldn’t do with your child during the investigation ask the legal authorities.

Not Guilty

“Not Guilty” in court is not always representative of the “truth”.  The law requires a certain burden of proof.  If that burden is not met, the alleged perpetrator is freed regardless of whether s/he committed the offense or not.

Don’t be too discouraged if the alleged perpetrator is not convicted.  God is just.  He has warned: “Whoso shall offend one of these little ones … , it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt 18:6).

Church Leaders

As a member of the LDS Church contacting your church leader can also be helpful.  The LDS Church has a 24-hour help line for lay leaders attempting to deal with cases of abuse, especially child abuse. (LDS Hotline to Help Leaders Deal with Abuse, Deseret News.)

Help the Child

If a child begins to talk about sexual abuse, encourage him or her to talk freely.  Don’t make judgmental comments.

-Show that you understand and take seriously what the child is saying. Children who are listened to and understood do much better than those who are not.  The response to the initial disclosure of sexual abuse is critical to the child’s ability to resolve and heal the trauma of sexual abuse.

-Assure the child that they did the right thing in telling.  A child who is close to the perpetrator may feel guilty about revealing the secret.  The child may feel frightened if the perpetrator has threatened to harm the child or other family members as punishment for telling.

-Tell the child that s/he is not to blame for the sexual abuse. Most children in attempting to make sense out of the abuse will believe that somehow they caused it.

-Offer the child protection, and promise that you will promptly take steps to see that the abuse stops and to get help.

(Adapted from AACAP. For additional help, see Responding To Child Sexual Abuse).

- Finally, pray with your child.  As with any health concern – pray. Make sure you bless the child and the alleged perpetrator. (Prayer and Promptings, Boyd K. Packer.)

Empower the Child

Speaking about abuse, Elder Scott said,

The beginning of healing requires childlike faith in the unalterable fact that Father in Heaven loves you and has supplied a way to heal … But there is no magic solution, no simple balm to provide healing, nor is there an easy path to the complete remedy … If you had a broken leg, you wouldn’t decide to fix it yourself.  Serious abuse can also benefit from professional help… (“To Heal the Shattering Consequences of Abuse,” Ensign, May 2008).

Sally’s Case Not Prosecuted

Although I followed standard interviewing techniques, Sally was unable to share.  We were confident Sally had been abused, but there was insufficient evidence for a criminal case to be filed.

I advised her parents to seek help for Sally as if she had been sexually abused.

Gospel Principle

When child sexual abuse is suspected reporting to proper legal authorities holds the alleged perpetrator accountable and creates resources to protect the child.  A responsible adult can empower a child by how they respond to the child’s disclosure and by seeking appropriate help.

Additional Information

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has issued the following official statement on Child Abuse.

LDS Family Services provides a variety of articles related to Abuse.

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) Child Sexual Abuse.