“…human intimacy, … certainly was ordained to be – a symbol of total union: union of their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their love, their family, their future, their everything … Sexual intimacy is … the uniting of their very souls–but it is also symbolic of a union between mortals and deity, …” (“Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments,” Brigham Young University Devotional Address, 12 January 1988).

  Later in the same verse (Moses 5:16) the word “know” is used to describe a relationship with God.  “To know” another person in God’s way, has no equal and no counterpart.  It is pure gold.  
 
Lay
   The word “lay or lie” is also used in scriptures to describe the sexual act.  Examples include Potiphar’s wife seducing Joseph “to lie by her….”  (Genesis 39:10) and King David ”lay(ing) with” Bath-sheba  (2 Sam 11:4).  Both illustrate the sexual act outside the bonds of marriage. The focus is on the external touching of bodies.
  
  In recent years, my clientele has consisted of many criminally charged sex offenders.  Understanding “laying” can be illustrated by a recent interview I had with a 26 year-old.  When asked about the number of sexual partners he replied, “I don’t know.”  He spontaneously added, “I just like sex.  I don’t even know their names!”

  It was clear this young man:  “… uses his companion as a biological toy to give himself temporary satisfaction,”  (Love and Lust, Spencer W. Kimball, BYU Publications, 1975).

  The “laying with” process is often clinically referred to as “objectifying” a partner.  Simply stated, one objectifies as the emphasis moves from “knowing” – communication, commitment, and relationship with a real life person towards “laying with” – the sexual act itself.
 
Lust 
  Lust is also used in the scriptures to describe sexual behavior (D & C 63:16, Matt 25:27-28).  Lust typically involves “thinking or fantasizing” about a real life person or picture or written text or thought. 
 
  For example, pornography includes visual images of people, most of which have been photoshopped and airbrushed to the point that what one sees isn’t “real.”  A person is even more “objectified” by what is referred to as “Anima.”  Anima is Japanese animation of explicit sexual acts.  No people at all, only cartoon-like images.  With pornography there is no “knowing” or “laying” because there are no humans, only images.
 
  The ultimate objectification of physical intimacy has recently gained much popularity.  Here there are no humans or even images of humans, only “words” such as sexual stories and chatroom discussions on the internet and romance novels from the local bookstore.  Men prefer “pornography” on the internet more than a relationship with their wives.  And women are more interested in fantasizing about a character from a “romance novel” than their husbands.

Sexual Response
  An individual can experience the complete physical sexual response cycle by “knowing,” “laying with” and yes, even by “lusting.”  

“Laying with” and “Lust” are getting a good thing in a bad way.  Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.  The “constant and strong” sexual interest and arousal towards the opposite sex is a good thing – part of God’s design. 

“The intimacy of sexual relations is right and divinely approved. There is nothing unholy or degrading about sexuality in itself …”  (Intimacy in Marriage , Spencer W. Kimball, Eternal Marriage Student Manual, LDS Church.)

Gospel Principle
  With love and “Knowing” the Spirit stays.  With “Laying” or “Lusting” the Spirit leaves the unclean body or mind. Learn correct principles. Help yourself.

  “First rate” physical intimacy is one man and one woman building that relationship and the commitment grows and then marriage occurs.  Sexual intimacy and true knowing “consummates” the marriage.