“Mothering” Outside the Home

The message that a woman can be “happy” only when she is at home with children while her husband is at work – can cause great damage. For many of us this is a “dream” that hasn’t come true. In today’s world of divorce thousands of us worthy LDS women have had to prayerfully adapt to our personal needs because of our circumstances.  

The message that women are mothers only when they are at home with their children creates unnecessary guilt and depression.  Two problems can arise from this false belief - I’m “sinning”  or “failing as a mother”

IF I go to work and leave my kids at daycare 
OR
IF I have no children.

The fact that my husband abandoned me and my children or that I am unable to have children, seem to be overlooked.

“The Lord knows … that through circumstances beyond their control, some mothers are faced with the added responsibility of earning a living. These women have God’s blessing, for he knows of their anguish and their struggle.” (Spencer W. Kimball, “Privileges and Responsibilities of Sisters,” Ensign, Nov 1978, p. 103.)

An outsider may not differentiate between mothers like me who have to work to feed and clothe my kids and the mothers who choose to work for other reasons like buying a boat or a bigger house.

As a working mother I’m sorely aware of where I should be and where I am forced of necessity to be. In my opinion, the mark of a successful woman is that she sees a problem and does what needs to be done to resolve it.  

A Unique Feminine Identity

Perhaps the most important responsibility for us as women is nurturing, not only our children but others.  The importance of nurturing children is essential.

“… (Satan) knows that those who rock the cradle can rock his earthly empire. And he knows that without righteous mothers loving and leading the next generation, the kingdom of God will fail.” (Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001)

Elder Faust emphasizes the nurturing of others.

“Your role as sisters is special and unique in the Lord’s work. You are the nurturers and the caregivers.…Many faithful, righteous sisters have not had the opportunity for marriage, yet they have always been a vital and necessary part of this sacred work. These wonderful women have a distinct errand of influence as angels of mercy to parents, sisters, brothers, nieces, and nephews, as well as other family members and friends.(“You Are All Heaven Sent,” Ensign, Nov 2002)

 
“Mothering” is More Than Having Children

Eve was called a “mother” before she had children (See Moses 4: 26; Gen. 3: 20) suggesting  women are called to nurture and “mother” God’s children. Elder Scott  adds, “…women are the compassionate, self-sacrificing, loving power that binds together the human family.” (Richard G. Scott, “The Sanctity of Womanhood,” NewEra, Nov 2008) The role of women is much broader than parenting one’s own children, although parenting our children is very important.

Women Make a Difference in the World

Women in the Church can and do make a difference in the world—not only by raising righteous families but also by nurturing others, and making an impact in the working world.

For those women who wonder whether or not you should work outside the home, the Gospel provides a simple answer- seek personal revelation through the Holy Ghost.  

“No one of us can survive in the world of today, much less in what it soon will become, without personal inspiration.” (Boyd K. Packer, “Reverence Invites Revelation,” Ensign, Nov 1991)

For me I have found my answer. I’m doing what needs to be done, the best way I can.

Sincerely yours,

A working mom

Gospel Principle

“Mothering” includes nurturing, caregiving, and providing much needed compassion to all of God’s children, old and young.   

Additional Information

Jan Underwood Pinborough, “Working Double-Time: The Working Mother’s Dilemma,” Ensign, Mar 1986.

Sheri L. Dew, “Are We Not All Mothers?,” Ensign, Nov 2001