A Formula That Works

Grow Up Into Him in All Things

…speaking the truth in love, may (we) grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ: (Eph. 4: 13-15).

My years of working with individuals who daily face tremendous sexual temptations have taught me that there is no special formula that works for everyone.  This life is an individual journey and each person, under heavenly direction, must find the resources that will best aid them in confronting their earthly trials.  However, there are certain common factors necessary in creating an environment where growth can take place. They are:

Knowing Our True Identity

When we are weighed down by mortal challenges and temptations the knowledge that we are children of God, spiritually begotten in the premortal life, can provide strength, comfort, and hope.  This hope comes from a true understanding that as His children we already have a special relationship with Him and with His son, our brother, Jesus Christ.  We can go to them in prayer at any time with the assurance that they care deeply and the anticipation that we will not be asked to carry a burden too difficult for us to endure.   (See 1 Cor. 10:13.)

To obtain eternal life means to become like Heavenly Father, to live like Him, and to receive a fullness of joy. You can receive eternal life if you abide by the same laws as God and do the  things He does. (God Loveth His Children,  p.2; 2007, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.)

I suggest you look at yourself in the mirror and repeat this affirmation every day.

I am His child, no earthly challenge can destroy my eternal possibilities, and His promises are sure if I will do my part by

remaining faithful.

Without question, knowing, believing and acting on this promise is the most important protection and strength anyone can possess.

Cultivating Healthy Relationships

Finding the time to strengthen ourselves by serving others and the careful selection of friends and mentors who are leading righteous lives of virtue will bring light and love into a difficult day. When we spend time with others who share our beliefs and are committed to the same covenants we have made there is less room to accommodate the presence of the adversary or his temptations.  As God has commanded,

Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:30-31.)

We were created to be relational beings by a God who seeks a close and intimate relationship with us and he knows we are strengthened by virtuous relationships with others. As it is written in Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend”, and so we will be sharpened or dulled by the relationships we cultivate.

Having Realistic Expectations

When we are experiencing a particularly difficult challenge it is easy to seek a quick fix and become impatient with the growth process. Learning to say “no” to our flesh and “yes” to the Spirit is a lifelong course. When our behaviors have developed an addictive pattern or our thoughts have become somewhat obsessive, the journey to freedom can seem long and hard. This is when having realistic expectations is critical. Changing and repenting takes time.

We were not intended to struggle alone and the sacrifices we make to obey the commandments ultimately lead to sanctification.  As the Apostle Paul taught:

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. (2 Cor 12:7.)

The fruit of these unwanted trials in the life of Paul, and in our own lives, is the blessing we gain when we come to understanding that we are completely dependant on God and that the atonement of the Savior is more than sufficient for our needs.

Gospel Principle

We become stronger by remembering and doing the simple things. We need to know who we are and to whom we belong, we must involve ourselves with the best activities and individuals available, and we have to remain patient and realistic to permit the growth process to work the slow miracles Heavenly Father has promised.

Sincerely,

Dave Pruden

Additional Information

Ardeth Kapp talking about your true identity.

Relationships, Evergreen International by Jason Park.

Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Little Things Count,” New Era, May 1988.

David is the director of Evergreen International. He directs the day-to-day operations of the organization, supervises the staff and volunteers, and manages the budgets.

He is also involved in fundraising and interacting with the public.

Evergreen International is the most complete resource for Latter-day Saints on same-sex attraction.